How to Become a Better Husband and Father In 2021

First, you need to know that being married is not a walk in the park...You are in a whole different situation than you think. There is a lot of work that goes into successful marriages and yours, hopefully, will be one of them, since you are already making effort in getting better by reading this article right now.

I have learned a couple of things and can't start to boast that I know it all, but I can definitely say that if you try these few tips I have for you, your marriage will be better. Please note that this is all from my personal experience and might not work for your marriage as every person is unique and interpret circumstances differently due to several factors involved. But don't be afraid to try them out because you never know which one might work.

In your journey to becoming a better husband and Father, here are nine (9) tips that would help you, if you choose to try them:

1. Always think about your family (wife and child(ren))

This is where it all starts - your thoughts. This tip is as important as it having a plan for your future. Don't mind if I quote the bible...Mathew 6: 21 says "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." The question is, do you consider your family your treasure? If you don't (sorry to say) you are wrong. Your family should be your treasure because people and relationships are the only things worth fighting for and by the way, they are you responsibility, so why shouldn't you always think about them?

Sounds normal to always think about your family right? As normal as this should be, a lot of men have a hard time doing this, and so set themselves up to miss out on simple yet important details that are important to your wife. You know how that is, wives get cranky sometimes (if not all the time) when you forget an event or thing that's important to them.

How do you avoid missing out on such?

It's by always having your family as your center of attraction. When I say family, I am mostly talking about your wife (LOL). If your wife is fine with you, your children shouldn't be a problem. The main point I want you to take from this particular tip is to make your family your center of attraction...If you can do that, then the rest of the tips following this will not be as hard.

2. Perform at least one deliberate good act everyday:

Before typing this tip, I took a deep breath because it's not easy. Yeah, I know if you think about your family a lot, this shouldn't be a problem, but in a situation where you had an unsettled issue, it becomes particularly hard to do this, that leads me to the next tip.

3. Learn to forgive before the offense is done:

Just like God sent Jesus to pay for all the sins we have committed and the ones yet to be committed, so should you be with your wife (especially). Forgive ahead of time. If you learn to forgive quickly, it won't be hard to turn things around to your favour. A forgiven offender will always be easier to win over. So learn to forgive knowing fully well that you will be offended at one point or the other. You've just got to accept that love comes with a price and one of them is always letting go of offenses because without this, you may never be able to do things that make your wife happy.

4. Don't talk about everything:

In marriage I've learned that you just can't talk about everything and expect to have a peaceful home. There's got to be things you need to avoid talking about with your wife if you want to be a good husband. Things like, always talking about the mistakes she makes...that's definitely a no no. If you must talk about a mistake, it should be the type that if left unattended could cause a far more painful experience for you in the future. For such, you should definitely talk about and don't forget to be nice about it.

5. Plan fun times:

Don't let your wife be bored. Well, sometimes it can't be helped but you know what I am talking about. Take out time to do fun stuff as a family. This is a great way to strengthen your bonds. You wife will definitely appreciate your effort because she can tell you care about her happiness and a wife who knows her husband cares about her happiness is very likely to reciprocate such acts.

6. Freely talk about your finances:

One thing I've learned in my short time of being married so far is that money surprises aren't good at all, except it's news about a deal that just came through. You don't want your wife asking questions on what's going on with budget plans and everything related with money in your home. If something is up, be the first to talk about it with your wife...A lot of times your wife can help you put things in perspective, but how would she if you don't tell her? Tell you what, women like men that are transparent with their finances...be that man.

7. Be less confrontational:

This is hard if you are the very expressive type, but you can adjust and be better if you really want to. It doesn't happen in one day, so let this comfort you if you've been trying but seeing slow results. Take your time and be deliberate with how you speak to her. She may not show you an appreciation, but she knows you are trying. If she does something you don't like, instead of get off shouting and complaining, put it up to her as a suggestion and explain how it hurts you when she does that particular thing. Do your best and stay positive with your conversation one day at a time and watch yourself be better.

8. Don't be afraid to say sorry:

Yeah, some women can take this for granted, but who cares...the point here is for you as a husband to be better. You are the leader of the house so you should start with the acts of being better and watch her acts align with yours over time.
If you are wrong, swallow your pride and say sorry. The first time might be difficult, but the more you do this, the easier it becomes. I'm not talking about some sarcastic apology here, I'm talking about being genuine. When you genuinely accept your mistakes and apologize, trust me...she'll know.

9. Go for counselling:

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try you just can't get through to your wife. This is not necessarily because you have a bad wife, you probably don't have a balanced idea about life and need someone else to help you figure that out. Who knows, that might just be a job for a counselor.

Get a good marriage counselor and and commit yourself to doing whatever you are advised to do. You can start your search for a counselor from your local church. If that doesn't do it, then you are likely to get guaranteed referrals. Just get a marriage counselor if things are going south beyond your control.